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My old boss John Gray loved golf and he loved a good joke. I always tried to have a joke for him. We hadn’t seen each for at least fifteen years when I learned he died in the hospital. That’s what happens when you lose track of people.
This was a joke that I was saving for my old loss. John Grey. Unfortunately, I never saw him again. He died in the hospital. I think this would have cheered him up, so I can’t tell it to him.
I will tell it to you. Have you heard the one about the golfer who had a wife who was a hypochondriac? She was always thinking she was getting this disease or that completely going out of her mind. She was always worried that she was going to catch the death of a cold, which would turn into pneumonia and finally kill her. Well, one day she did catch a cold.
How a little bit of slight sniffles and pronounce that this was the end to her husband. She told him, this is it. And I think that you should make plans for my death and be prepared to move on after I die. And he has heard this before. And he said, oh, come on, one, you’re not going to die.
You have a slight cold, a few sniffles. Everything is going to be all right. There’s no need for me to make preparations. And she says, no, no, no, I really feel that this is it. And I think that I think it best if you.
And then she took a slight pause. She said, you know, now that I think about it, you probably already started making preparations, haven’t you? Once you heard I had a cold? Yeah, I think you probably already. Yeah, you probably already have a girlfriend, don’t you?
And he started to laugh and said, this is ridiculous. You just have a slight cold and your imagination is starting to run away with you. You’re not going to die. There is no girlfriend. So you need you need to start making sense.
Well, she gave him another long stair and says, no, no, no, I know you. You’ve got a girlfriend. You’re already starting to take her out. You’re already starting to make plans with her, aren’t you? I mean, you’re starting to go to dinner and taking long walks in the moonlight, aren’t you?
And he said, you are really off this time. First of all, this back up, you’re not going to die. Okay? You have a slight cold. That’s it.
As for me, there’s no girlfriend. There’s no romantic dinners or any dinners. There’s no moonlight walks. And she looks at him even harder and says, no, no, no, I know you okay. You’ve gone way you on this.
You’re already starting to do the things that you used to do with me, like, like golf, right? I mean, you’re giving her lessons at this point and she’s starting to take it up. And you’re really getting ready to move on, aren’t you? And he said, okay, this is really getting stupid and silly. You don’t have a cold.
I mean, you do have a cold, but you’re not going to die. It’s just a sniffles. And there’s no golf. There’s no girlfriend there’s. There’s no moonlight walks.
There’s no dinner. There’s nothing like this at all. And she pause. Well, now your already giving this girl lessons, like I said and teaching it. And then she really started to pause, and she says, yeah, you’re doing everything with her.
And the worst of it is when I die, you’re going to let her use my club. And he looked at her and said, of course not. She’s left handed.