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Musings on Readability and Consistency

Shorter sentences tend to be more readable than long ones. Since I usually write long sentences in my first drafts (a part of brainstorming, writing whatever comes to mind), my revisions find me breaking those long sentences into shorter ones. The problem is that short sentences tend to be choppy. Not as smooth as extended copy. The trick then is finding a way to make short sentences flow as well as uninterrupted sentences. It’s not easy.

I got to thinking about this while editing and revising the work of another writer. Light editing doesn’t usually change how well a writer’s sentences flow into one another. But I’ve had to make so many revisions for one writer that their posts now sound fragmented and choppy. This is a serious problem. The only way to smooth out their writing would be for them to do a complete rewrite with my changes in mind. There’s no time or budget for that.

The consoling thought, at least for web work, is that ultimately most of us are not writing for readers but for robots. Much of this content generation is for higher search results rankings, the subject of search engine optimization or SEO. I often wonder, as I pen the blog posts I am paid to write, if anyone reads them at all. Or if all those words, no matter the writing style, simply go to improving a client’s website in the rankings. Today, readability may play less importance than coming up on the first page of Google’s search results.

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Poetry Thoughts on writing Writing by others Writing tips

Kipling and Long Sentences

Kipling and Long Sentences

I prefer short sentences and paragraphs. Think Orwell, or better yet, newspaper columnists like Delaplane (internal link). I am constantly amazed, however, at how writers like Conrad and Kipling and Melville carry off long sentences.

This single paragraph is from Kipling’s Just So Stories. The poem is How The Leopard Got His Spots.

How The Leopard Got His Spots (excerpt)

IN the days when everybody started fair, Best Beloved, the Leopard lived in a place called the High Veldt. ‘Member it wasn’t the Low Veldt, or the Bush Veldt, or the Sour Veldt, but the ‘sclusively bare, hot, shiny High Veldt, where there was sand and sandy-coloured rock and ‘sclusively tufts of sandy-yellowish grass. The Giraffe and the Zebra and the Eland and the Koodoo and the Hartebeest lived there; and they were ‘sclusively sandy-yellow-brownish all over; but the Leopard, he was the ‘sclusivest sandiest-yellowish-brownest of them all—a greyish-yellowish catty-shaped kind of beast, and he matched the ‘sclusively yellowish-greyish-brownish colour of the High Veldt to one hair. This was very bad for the Giraffe and the Zebra and the rest of them; for he would lie down by a ‘sclusively yellowish-greyish-brownish stone or clump of grass, and when the Giraffe or the Zebra or the Eland or the Koodoo or the Bush-Buck or the Bonte-Buck came by he would surprise them out of their jumpsome lives. He would indeed! And, also, there was an Ethiopian with bows and arrows (a ‘sclusively greyish-brownish-yellowish man he was then), who lived on the High Veldt with the Leopard; and the two used to hunt together—the Ethiopian with his bows and arrows, and the Leopard ‘sclusively with his teeth and claws—till the Giraffe and the Eland and the Koodoo and the Quagga and all the rest of them didn’t know which way to jump, Best Beloved. They didn’t indeed!

More Kipling at this site:

The Cat that Walked by Itself
https://thomasfarleyblog.com/2017/06/28/the-cat-that-walked-by-himself/
The Elephant’s Child
https://thomasfarleyblog.com/2018/01/08/the-elephants-child-by-rudyard-kipling/
Mandalay – Fine reading by Fred Proud
https://thomasfarleyblog.com/2017/04/29/celebrating-my-300th-post-with-poetry/
Kipling and Long Sentences
https://thomasfarleyblog.com/2017/08/30/kipling-and-long-sentences/

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