Category Archives: revising writing

Revising an Ontra White Paper

Revising an Ontra Whitepaper I  rewrote an Ontra (external link) white paper recently to show them how I could write and edit for their company. I have over five years of legal content creation experience and that is what they … Continue reading

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The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe – The Simpson’s Version

A classic and deservedly so. Ravens are quite common out here in the Mojave Desert, crows more likely haunting cities and farmland. I couldn’t find a Richard Burton reading so I settled for James Earl Jones with the Simpsons. Good … Continue reading

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More on Writing for Machines

I’ve written many times on SEO (internal link) and how as a writer I feel compromised and sad that today’s most important reader is a machine. Humans don’t collect their thoughts and organize their tasks the way search engines do. … Continue reading

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Thou Art Indeed Just, Lord by Gerad Manley Hopkins

EDITOR’S NOTE: REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR! The Reverend Hopkins has appeared at this site before, here (internal link) and here (internal link). The quotation is from Jeremiah 12:1. The King James version reads, “Righteous art thou, O LORD, when I plead … Continue reading

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Writing Within Different Styles Part 1 (Repost – additions and corrections)

Writing Within Different Styles (Part 1) Little writing is more stilted or conforming to its trade than legal writing. Anything submitted to the court must sound legal, just as the IRS tax Code must sound like all that previously written … Continue reading

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Let’s Return to Direct Lead Paragraphs

A Wandering Lead and Three Revisions Writers must compose direct lead paragraphs or risk losing readers. A wandering opening finds readers lost, wandering somewhere else. A direct opening can’t guarantee that a reader will continue but a clear, direct path … Continue reading

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E.C.T. Update, Perspective, and an Unknown Poet

4:34 AM E.C.T. Update In June I went to Tempe, Arizona to get electroconvulsive therapy for my nightmares which have been regularly going on since 1988. There were to be three treatments a week for four weeks. I stopped after … Continue reading

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Revised Post on Revising

NB: I wrote this post last year and titled it “More on Revising.” (internal link) I noticed tonight that it needed more work so I have revised this post on revising. Argh. Editing never ends. More on Revising — Updated … Continue reading

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Not Only

Not Only “Not only” is a phrase which brings negativity to a piece and prevents you from directly and quickly stating your position. Original: Not only is ice cream tastier than sherbet but it appeals to more people. Revised Ice … Continue reading

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Fighting Wordiness

I once revised copy for a painter’s home page. The original text was only 250 words or so. These changes were the most important. It’s not just about reducing word count but making text more direct and impactful. Fighting wordiness … Continue reading

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