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And So it Goes

Speaker 1

Speaker 1
Hello, aloha and mahalo. It is Monday, September 11, day of remembrance for all of us.

Speaker 1
My name is Thomas Farley, F-A-R-L-E-Y-I have a friend who is is dying and he has been dying for many years, but it is certainly the end of the line.

Speaker 1
It will be the end of the line very soon for him, it seems, unless there’s some miraculous intervention from beyond science.

Speaker 1
I and he’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve to die, die poorly like this. I would not trade places with him. I envy him, though, in a way, with the enormous amount of resources that he’s been able to get to apply to his condition. He has a physical disease.

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He has a number of things wrong with them, but they are in the end, all physical.

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He’s had good insurance with Kaiser and I’m sure some of his own money. Similarly, I’ve had good insurance plans and money and I’m actually paid out of pocket for nearly all of my mental health treatment because compared with physical diseases, you cannot get seen by a doctor routinely enough to do any good in mental health. For a psychiatrist. Well, he has Kaiser. I think under Kaiser, probably you wouldn’t be able to see a doctor psychiatrist more than once every couple of months.

Speaker 1
Instead, you’re kicked down to therapists and technicians. So I’ve always paid out of pocket for regular psychiatric treatment.

Speaker 1
So that’s one big difference between mental health and physical health. Another is that routinely, for years now, most of the major insurance companies have provided a 24 hours nurse talk line so that you can talk to a nurse at any time of day except that. And I’ve talked to these nurses on these health lines before. They say they’ve never, ever had a psych nurse assigned to one of these 24 hours help lines. They could have a psych nurse, a telephone line in addition to the physical, the regular RNS.

Speaker 1
They could have that. These groups, Intermountain, Southwest, Kaiser, multibillion dollar corporations, they could pay for a 24 hours psych nurse telephone line so he wouldn’t wind up at the emergency room or some other place victim of suicide. But they don’t because mental health does not exist for these people. They talk about these institutions, talk about the rising rate of suicide, and isn’t that awful? But they won’t fund for it.

Speaker 1
They will not fund for it. They will instead give out some pity, some false pity and give some money to other groups, other agencies that are working on the problem, but they themselves don’t participate. And in the last few years, we’ve all seen how they want to really focus. They really want to throw everybody into two categories that of depression or anxiety. And if you’re not in that category, then good luck to you.

Speaker 1
I don’t want to dwell on my particular problem, although I’ll just say that it’s severe insomnia and nightmares and yeah, you hear about research, say, into PTSD and related, but it’s not really in my opinion. And I’ve been almost become a professional consultant on this subject since I so much want to get better. And I’ve tried everything. So I’ve become sort of an expert on what’s current, and I’ve done everything, including electroshock, or ECT as it’s politely called. Electroconvulsive therapy didn’t work for me, paid for all that out of pocket.

Speaker 1
Physical diseases, especially the physical diseases that happen to a lot of people, that Big Pharma has a market for. Those seem hopeful. As far as research getting spent, I know there’s some incurable, seemingly incurable problems like autism, and so there’s just major diseases, although autism goes to great deal of mental health fields, so it’s inherently not going to see the amount of research or funding to begin with. My friend has got all of these resources now available to him as far as end of life treatments and hospice, just like my parents had hospice and people willing to help stepping in. And there’s nothing for end of life, for mental health problems.

Speaker 1
My condition is not livable, and all I get in a response as far as end of life is that it can’t be that bad.

Speaker 1
And I sometimes say, yeah, you’re right, it’s not that bad. It’s a hell of a lot worse. You live with this, you live with this. But it’s a mental health problem that they can’t capture with a microscope or a thermometer going up or down, or blood pressure they can measure or blood they can sample. They just have to take the word of the patient, and our word doesn’t mean a damn thing.

Speaker 1
And I feel for people with mental health problems that are not as articulate or verbal as I am, that can’t express themselves or they express the hell they’re going through. They really have. That just I can’t imagine the misery funding needs to be addressed for my friend. There’s all sorts of patient advocates available for him. He’s actually had genetic engineering things done for him at Stanford Hospital.

Speaker 1
There’s been housing available for family and relatives nearby, just on and on and on. And I am glad that he’s had that care. It’s extended his life for many, many years. It’s just there is no equivalent in mental health for this. And it just devalue you.

Speaker 1
It devalues a person over and over and over again. You’re not worth it. And if you want something done, you got to pay for it yourself, because we can’t see it, so we don’t think it’s a problem. I’ll give you a simple example of how much I often have needed a patient advocate to deal with people just on the phone, for example. One of the things that really induces my nightmares is being a mean person and having to argue endlessly.

Speaker 1
And if anybody’s dealt with any customer support, any healthcare organization over the last many years, you’ll know that it is impossible sometimes to get across what you’re trying to say to a person that keeps falling back on a script will not transfer you to a supervisor about the websites and email addresses that they hand out that don’t work, telephone numbers they never call to make sure that they actually work. It just goes on and on. Well, that all forces me to get service, forces me to be a mean person with these people. And I don’t want to be a mean person. It’s toxic.

Speaker 1
It’s toxic to everybody, but especially in my condition. And I can’t tell them that that just engendering more and more nightmares. And it would be great if I had a patient advocate that would be able to speak for me and would be able to sit for hours and hours on a phone trying to get something arranged and it’s just not possible, not even with paying for it out of pocket. These people don’t exist. And it is very frustrating every step of the way you’re told that your condition doesn’t mean anything and it is indescribable as I try to make myself, as I try to make other people comfortable with me.

Speaker 1
You can’t mention, for example, that you have violent nightmares anymore. They’ll call the cops on you.

Speaker 1
People today are so scared by corporate media that they associate mental health with violence when in fact the mental health are far more likely to be victims of crimes than actually committing the crime. But corporate media doesn’t want to hear that. And it is the more and more I try to make other people comfortable around me, the less credibility I have, the more well spoken I am, the less people think there’s anything wrong. If I keep up appearances, then just what’s the problem? And I’ll try to say, well, how many times do you have to watch your mother or your best friend get chainsawed to death?

Speaker 1
Well, it’s not real. No, it actually feels real. And shock after shock and this has been going on since 1988 with me and it just breaks you down. I probably have less than 4 hours of sleep every night and tell you this is how these professionals, they just want a measurement. How many hours of sleep are you getting?

Speaker 1
And their limited thinking is insane. Well, four or 5 hours, it doesn’t matter. It’s the quality of sleep. It’s all broken up. I’m pacing around at 233 30 in the morning, waking up every other half hour.

Speaker 1
It’s the quality of sleep. But they can’t measure that. They have to rely on your word. And your word doesn’t count. Your word doesn’t mean a damn thing.

Speaker 1
Well, we’re sorry for you, but there’s no at this point I’ve tried literally everything, including, like I said, ECT. And that program when it first came out, using the Apple Watch, which is a dedicated Apple Watch and a dedicated iPhone that goes with it called nightwear. I’ve written a multi part review on YouTube about it that also failed.

Speaker 1
But in the end in the end, my friend has a ton of services he’s going to have measured, respectful, end of life experience, I guess you would call it. But no, I’m going to have to take care of things myself. And it’s tragic, but it’s consistent with the disregard that mental health gets in this country. I’m not sure it’s that much better anywhere else, and I don’t have any suggestions other than fund, but it’s all about money, and so I just don’t especially Intermountain. They’re an incredibly toxic group, incredibly damaging to mental health people.

Speaker 1
And you can read on my website,, what they did to me, how they treated me. I think a real fundamental problem in healthcare is how the line personnel, or the people responding to their Twitter and social accounts have no idea what duty of care means. We are patients first and then customers. This is not a typical industry where you have a customer. No, we’re patients first.

Speaker 1
When you extend the duty of care, if you have to explain what duty of care means to somebody picking up the phone, they need some real training or they need some days in the hospital tending to patients. Once you accept the duty of care, again, it’s just not my dad was a brilliant physician, brilliant doctor, and his colleagues were all well mannered, neat, professional, all of them caring. And they accepted the responsibility for a patient once they took them on. And once a system takes them on, like Inner Mountain or Kaiser or what have you, that duty of care is extended. That umbrella applies to everybody under their name.

Speaker 1
Well, that’s enough for now. I wish I could give you some hope, but there really isn’t any. Not at least for people with my condition. And I think that they would actually prefer a lot of us just to die off so they don’t have to deal with them. I think that’s what’s going on with a lot of the homeless, with mental health problems.

Speaker 1
It’s just get these people off the books and we can go back to treating people for just anxiety and depression and everybody else is on their own.

Speaker 1
But if you know more about the subject, let me know. But there’s no dignity in this, not for people with mental health.

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The Spirit of Bruce Willis Hangs Heavy Over the Old Las Vegas Strip

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This is Why We Study History

Spuds MacKenzie was portrayed as a fun loving, beach going kind of guy. Lots of bikini babes around him. Until someone finally spoke up to say that this male bull terrier was, in fact, a female. Budweiser was embarrassed by this revelation and Spuds quickly disappeared after that. Most people would agree that by the time this story came out, however, that he was already losing his charm as a novelty spokesperson. I rather liked Spuds.

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You’re Not Worth a Minute

You, I’m going to try to limit my remarks right now to something very specific. And that is a fundamental problem with health care today. And that is a completely solvable, a easy to do solution that nobody wants to do, nobody cares enough to do it. And that is repeatedly. Over the last several years, I’ve encountered healthcare organizations, medical groups, the line personnel, the staff handing out telephone numbers that they’ve never tried before, or websites that they give out the URLs, and yet they don’t test them to see if they’re working, or they never try to register as a patient.

They’re usually looking inward at their own system. And particularly with telephone numbers, you have people that are sitting, working a desk for 8 hours a day, and they’re handing out these telephone numbers, not knowing if they work or not. And you comment on that and they say they’ll make a note to their supervisor, which is absolutely bizarre. Any small business that I’ve ever been, if somebody reported a problem with the phone number, they would call it up immediately. And they don’t do that in healthcare.

It’s not their problem, the person handing out the numbers, it’s the supervisor’s problem who doesn’t want to be told what to do. That never gets done. It’s all crazy talk. I just spent ten minutes on the crisis line with this woman who kept giving me this telephone number that she’s never dialed. She was saying that these people are staffed during the day up to like 08:00 at night.

I came back and said, well actually I’ve called them several times at two in the morning and they’re there. And she said she would make a note about it, blah blah blah. And I said, well that’s not getting you anywhere. She came back a little later and said, yes, my supervisor says that’s the telephone number. And I said, well have you actually called it?

Somebody needs to call it. You’re saying it’s not staffed? Maybe the telephone line is broken, maybe it is staffed, you don’t know. Why doesn’t anybody take 1 minute to call to verify this telephone number or this website that you’re turning patients to people that need help?

I said if you’re trying to fight me on this, because this is what she did for about ten minutes, I said you’re fighting against common sense. There’s no business that would operate like this except when you get to health care. They just simply do not want to call. They don’t care enough to call. They demonstrate this complete lack of caring by saying you’re not worth 1 minute.

“I’ve got other things to do other than check on the help numbers that I’m giving out to people. I don’t know if they work or not, but I’ve never tested them myself.” So the mental care industry, when you have to argue with people about something that simple, these people are, they have nobody testing the system. Frequently they give out these websites to patients. There’s all sorts of problems when a patient tries to move through the system.

But the person at the desk, she’s never registered herself. Her supervisor has never gone through the system. They just hand them out.

For any other business, Amazon FedEx, Whatever. I know they’re not perfect, but you know that if a customer calls in and says, I’ve got a problem with the website, somebody will at least look at it, even if they don’t respond to you. But, I mean, they’ll look at it because it means a loss of sales.

Here, they can’t make any money off of you when you call a help line.

It’s a failure to understand duty of care. In particular. If you have to explain what duty of care means to anybody working in the medical field, then everything’s lost. Everything is lost. And I did get transferred to this number.

Long story short, this person transferred me from this number to the number that she said wasn’t staffed. And in fact, there is somebody working now, so at least she knows that and the number is correct. But I had to really fight to get that far, and it just continues. We say we want to help, but not help you enough to actually make sure a telephone number works. That’s what you’re worth in mental health today.


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These Are the People I Deal With

I don’t expect anyone to read this except for search. And I don’t expect anyone to sympathize with my complaints, either, because this is the way the world is arranged. I’ve was raised to be a nice person but there are too many mean people to overcome. This is not something I can win. And, given my constant nightmares since 1988, not something I can cope with.


This weekend at a community picnic, I was introduced to an old cowboy who asked me what I did for work. I told him that I work part time online, at which point the conversation quickly drifted south because of him. He told me that the greatest computer was between our two ears, the human brain. And I said, I agree with that.

He then went on with a whole series of statements and questions that were aggressively going after. I think I think when I start talking about computers and what I do online, it’s so far out of reach of most people that they think that I’m trying to be smarter than them, or somehow they feel inferior. I think that’s a great deal of it. They have an inferiority complex to anybody that’s working with computers. They act as if I’m trying to prove that I’m smarter than them, when in fact, I usually don’t start the conversation at all because I’m so far out of reach with what I’m doing, with what most other people do that it’s not even worth bothering to talk about.

Like all of the work that I’m doing with AI and Chat right now. And it’s very discouraging because I had a friend say to me recently that it was possibly economic, because not everybody can afford a computer or the resources that I have, and that’s not really the case at all. I should probably stop at this point and refresh everyone’s memory that early on, before the Internet went commercial, back in about 94, 95, with the advent of Mosaic. Mosaic was the first graphical based Internet browser that you could see images with that became relatable to people. Images provided a boost to advertising, but librarians had been on computerizing, their catalog, card catalogs, for years before.

And so when personal computers came out, they started populating libraries with them. Especially, really around 84, when IBM came out with its own personal computer for the masses. There was this Charlie Chaplin advertising campaign that was hugely successful. But years before, Apple had been trying really, really hard to place computers in the school to get these lucrative contracts, and they did a good job. They started about 1980 with the Apple II.

So by the end of the 80s, computers were basically in every library and school. And so everyone’s had an opportunity since then to use computers in one way or another. Night school classes, adult education classes since really the late 80s, early ninety s. And I’ve actually been on computers since 1978. Over 40 years.

Everybody’s had a chance. But an idiot like this that I was talking to, he doesn’t want to go to the library. I’m sure he hasn’t been to the library in decades. He probably can’t remember when he checked out a library book last. I have many computers.

I think I have two desktops, two laptops, two tablets. I also have a library card from Pahrump. A library card from Goldfield and a library card from Tonopah. And I am in those libraries, actively. I’m checking out books.

All of those libraries have a computer. I think it’s just laziness on most people’s part and not having an interest. It’s easier to put down somebody for what they do than to ask about it or just say simply nothing at all. These are the people that drive me crazy. There’s so much amazing stuff going on and I don’t mind if they’re not interested, but it’s the librarians that I’m infuriated with.

They’re the gatekeepers in education and they don’t want to know about Chat or AI. So it’s not really economic. It is a deliberate decision on many people’s part not to engage, not to learn, to let the things go by. And people that are actually interested, that are burning to create, that are trying new things, that are experimenting with new things, those are people that are something to be put down on because I think it might remind them of how little they want to know, how content they are with their own little world. And that’s fine as long as you don’t go out and bully people or put people down.

This is the way I can make some money. I can make this money part time. I’m doing a good service and yet I have people people commenting who don’t even know the basics of writing and business writing.

Self-sustaining freelance writers are maybe four or 5% of the population. That’s it. Everybody else is doing a second 3rd, 4th job to enable their hobby or their passion the and as far as nonfiction writing goes, nobody understands that. As far as business SEO, there’s nobody that I know, haven’t known for a couple of decades that has any idea of what I’m doing. But if they ask, if I try to explain, it’s just an immediate putting down of what I do.

It’s just this prejudice against the unknown, which is really the root cause. If you don’t know something, if somebody knows something you don’t, you don’t want to hear it. Instead of asking questions about it or letting it go, they want to put it down because they’re bullies. That’s all they can do. They’re trolls.

And maybe it reminds them of the fact that they’re dead to the world, that they have no interest in inquiry.

Anyway, I just wanted to put down what I have to deal with almost every day in my effort to be creative. I really have to keep it hidden. Can’t discuss it because it’s like we’re going back to the Dark Ages. One idiot, in fact, who’s in charge of something historical, he was talking about computer literacy, computer literacy in such a way that I asked him this:

You’re not holding out computer illiteracy as a point of pride, are you? And this guy’s a former engineer and he thought about it and said, that’s a good question, actually. I am. This is a living, breathing, talking luddite. He doesn’t want to learn.

He wants to put down people for learning. We’re going to go back 300 years into the Dark Ages when people were prosecuted and killed for trying to learn things, for trying to advance science. We’re going to try to discredit them. Or Mao’s Cultural Revolution, in which anybody with higher learning or higher ambition was killed. That’s what we’re going to get.

We’re going to go back to the Dark Ages and then we’re going to take 300 years to come back again. At the end of the Dark Ages, they had to reinvent all the math that the Greeks had done, what, 1500 or  2000 years before, because people were criticized and killed for trying to learn new things. And now we have people writing about chat and AI who don’t actually use it, haven’t experimented with it, but don’t want to learn. They just want to put it down. So it’s frustrating, but that’s the world we live in.


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Every Day In Every Way I Am Getting Better and Better

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When Do You Have a Camel Race?

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Annie Hall and The Inner Monologue Well Displayed

A friend couldn’t recall the inner monologue scene from Annie Hall so I looked it up.

We are used to movie characters talking to themselves when they are alone but it is much rarer to see this between characters when they are physically together. Especially this example with its wonderful subtitles.

“I’m not smart enough. Hang in there.”

Superbly well done!

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Back When People Could Have Fun

A few posts ago I showed a 1968 advertisement for SAS Airlines which promoted girl watching. You can read my post and look at the ad here (internal link). Harmless fun which would never again be published because of joyless people in the media who are as Puritanical as devout religious goers of the 1890’s.

Well, sort of. Have you seen the trailers for the new Disney film Cinderella? It shows a gay black man as the Fairy Godmother.

Here is an ad from a 1977 National Geographic. A woman’s point of view. Again, having fun that would be outlawed today. I like the word play. John Newcombe was indeed a handsome man, Australian as I recall, and the woman on the right makes a sly joke in that regard.

Today, we can’t have fun like this anymore in print. Sexist? Relax. If you are troubled by this or that SAS ad then you need therapy.

Starting in the 1920s, the Motion Picture Production Code governed what could be shown in American movies. It persisted for decades. Better minds than yours decided what you could see. It’s the same thing today but mostly unwritten.

Large advertisers pressured by dozens of special interest groups now focus on images and copy so bland and so lacking in humor that men and women can no longer have fun being men and women. No one can take a joke.

I’ve seen young men and women not even realize that a joke was being told. And when they realize that a joke was told, they look at each other to see whether it’s appropriate to laugh or not.

How depressing.

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What Have We Gained and What Have We Lost?

What Have We Gained and What Have We Lost?

In the last fifty years America has become a lot less joyful and playful to the benefit of no one. Except to the people incapable of having fun who enforce today’s morality standards.

I’m 63 years old. I have no police record of any kind. No arrests, no questioning, no nothing, except traffic tickets. The last one of those was twenty years ago.

I am not a threat to anyone. But every male today who enjoys looking at women is considered a threat. Even thinking about women in certain ways is considered a threat, unless, of course, corporate America makes money off it. Look at Amazon’s latest film called Jolt produced by a woman director. Corporate approved and produced violence against women. I ramble.

Decide for yourself what we have become.

Fairly well edited transcript:

This is an official SAS ad that appeared in May of 1968 in Playboy. You can judge for yourself what we’ve gained and lost. I shall read.

Confessions of a Girl Watcher in Scandinavia.

It all started on my S.A.S. flight.

All my life, I’ve had only these three weaknesses: blondes, brunettes and redheads. So what happens? They have a blonde, a brunette and a redheaded air hostess.

Right away, my favorite quote came back to me. “I can resist anything except temptation.” I succumbed. I would watch girls. We landed at Copenhagen. I put on my sunglasses, picked a sidewalk cafe and watched.

I watched blondes, brunettes and redheads. I consumed several Danish beers, half a dozen small breads and aquavits. Poetry was unfolding before my eyes. I was inspired.

Later in the day, I followed the migration to the Tivoli Gardens. Beautiful. More blondes, more brunettes, more redheads.

Then a thought of diabolical cunning occurred to me. By the latest census, girls comprise about fifty percent of the entire Scandinavian population. I could drive around and girl watch too. I went to Hamlet’s castle. “To be or not to be,” the guide intoned hauntingly.

I watched the girls.

Then I drove to Stockholm. Lovely city with a groovy old town and streets full of strolling sun worshiping girls.

Oslo. Here luck was with me. A swinging festival was underway. Wild folk dancing, singing, girls tuning up for spring, then up to the fjords in blossom time. Apple blossom, cherry blossoms and wholesome blossoming girls.

So, back to Copenhagen. Ah, Copenhagen. Serenely I took in the theaters, restaurants. Athletically, I roamed the countryside digging its pastoral charms. A healthy mind in a healthy body is what I always say.

And now for my last confession. I did all this on an SAS Dollar Wise tour. You drive where you like, do as you like. Economy airfare from New York, three weeks accommodations and use of a Volkswagen with one thousand free kilometers cosst only three hundred and thirty eight dollars.

Dig? Ask your travel agent or write S.A.S. Box 3443, Grand Central Station, New York. NY.

Oh, by the way, there’s unlimited free girl watching Scandinavia.

You’ll love us for it.