I Take Questions From the Press

Art Gallery Here (internal link)

Version one is subtle, the lost art of deadpan humor.

Enhanced  version for those unused to dry wit.

Rough and Unedited Transcript

Hi, my name is Thomas Farley and I am here today to answer a few questions from the press regarding my artwork.

These questions have been vetted by my cat, John Charles Fremont.

The press is remaining outside in a secure room.

I cannot let them in to the house.

I can’t afford to restock the liquor cabinet once again, what kind of art style are you involved in?

I’ve heard it called photo montage.

I call it poster art. Digital collage. Bugs Bunny would probably call it digital collage. As far as an art style, I don’t know. I know an art style.

That’s the only one I know, and he owes me money.

What am I selling?

I’m selling a design service. So for $200 you can get a custom made poster currently produced at 24 X 36.

inches or a similarly large size.

I’ll design the poster, provide you two prints for $200, and give you the digital file that’ll be available@dropbox.com. Revision would be $50 and another two prints. Postage is on you unless it’s local delivery to perm postage anywhere from 13 and a half to $20. These days I can use your Instagram photos, Facebook photos. They don’t have to be too great because they’re just being posterized. Essentially, you can see the work of my Gallery.

If your artwork.

Could talk, what would it say?

Buy me. Yes, that’s definite.

By Tom Service.

What do I need to know when.

Looking at your work for the first time?

Don’t panic.

I think that’s good advice.

Generally, if you’re well grounded in some.

Sort of faith, I think that helps.

Cheer up.

Life is temporary.

That would probably, I think, gets you through your first viewing.

Where is my cat food?

Okay, obviously, John Charles got into the questions himself.

So we’ll go to the next one.

Yes.

You got into that question, didn’t you?

All right, the next one would be.

Where’s my cat food?

All right.

And the next one is Where’s my cat food? So I’m going to have to freelance it here.

Essentially, as you can see from the.

Artwork, it’s a bunch of found images. I’ll call them clip art people supplying their own photographs.

But if you have somebody that has.

An Instagram account that’s public, I can take those photos directly. You don’t have to send it to me.

I can make up an origin story.

I’m really good on this building.

What else? What does the future hold for your artwork?

Hand lettering. I will have to contract that out, though.

It’s going to greatly improve, I think.

The look of especially small lettering when.

It’S cursed, and that will be improved. I’ll have to raise my prices at.

That point because I will have to.

Contract out to there’s a Las Vegas.

Artist that I know.

What would you say about your artwork?

Probably the same thing that my works would say.

Buy my service.

And I think that’s a good thing.

To end on breakfast.

(Cat meows loudly)

I’ll take that as a Yes.

About thomasfarley01

Freelance writer specializing in outdoor subjects, particularly rocks, gems and minerals.
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