Thomas Guy Farley Testifies in Court on thomasfarleyblog.com

LTJG Kaffee: Mr. Farley. Did you build the website thomasfarleyblog.com?

Judge Randolph: You don’t have to answer that question!

Farley: I’ll answer the question. You want answers?

LTJG Kaffee: I think I’m entitled to them.

Farley: You want answers?!

LTJG Kaffee: I want the truth!

Farley: You can’t handle the truth!

Son, we live in a world that has poorly written pages, and those pages have to be revised and edited by men and women with keyboards. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep to pay for content and you curse someone having to edit it. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know — that revising that copy, while costing a few dollars, probably saved your company’s reputation and my existence, while grotesque and expensive to you, saves that public image you’ve built up.

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that page — you need me on that page.

We use words like “revising,” “SEO,” “editing.” We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending literacy and first page ranking on Google. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very keywords and on page SEO that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.

I would rather that you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a keyboard and start revising. Either way, I don’t give a DAMN what you think you’re entitled to!

LTJG Kaffee: Did you build that writing website?

Farley: I did the job —

LTJG Kaffee: — Did you build that writing website!

Farley: YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!