4:05 AM
I was trying to wake from another bad dream just now and found I couldn’t.
I am sometimes aware that I am dreaming when going through a violent nightmare or disturbing dream but this time I couldn’t end it by willing myself awake. I had to instead wait until this bizarre film in my head had finished.
I’ve viewed my chronic nightmares, insomnia, and anxiety as afflictions until now. This morning my mind feels diseased. As if my problems are now all encompassing and not separate conditions.
That dream felt like being locked into a crippled Carnival Fun House where no one is having any fun, meeting characters and situations I did not want to see.
Conflict and stress and fright. All set in an uncomfortable and alien world that was recognizable in look but not in feel or tone.
