Not Only

Not Only

“Not only” is a phrase which brings negativity to a piece and prevents you from directly and quickly stating your position.

Original:

Not only is ice cream tastier than sherbet but it appeals to more people.

Revised

Ice gream is tastier than sherbet and it appeals to more people.

Comment

The revised sentence states what the writer wanted to say in the first place. No distracting elements. Which included the word “but” which has a near subliminal negative connotation if used too many times.

Good business writing directly states the possible. Too many negative or contrary words pull down what we want to lift up.

More examples.

I am editing a writer that I work with in the first example and in the last two I am correcting Orwell. 🙂

Original

If you’ve been waiting for months, it’s reasonable to check every few days. This is important not only so that you can alleviate your worries but also so that you are promptly aware of any potential obstacle delaying your claim.

Revised

It’s reasonable to check every few days if you’ve been waiting for months. This helps alleviate your worries and promptly lets you know of any obstacle delaying your claim.

Original

In the case of a word like democracy, not only is there no agreed definition, but the attempt to make one is resisted from all sides.

Revised

There is no agreed definition of a word like democracy and any attempt to make one is resisted from all sides.

Original

Words like romantic, plastic, values, human, dead, sentimental, natural, vitality, as used in art criticism, are strictly meaningless, in the sense that they not only do not point to any discoverable object, but are hardly ever expected to do so by the reader.

Revised

Words like romantic, plastic, values, human, dead, sentimental, natural, vitality, as used in art criticism, are strictly meaningless because they do not point to any discoverable object and are hardly ever expected to do so by the reader.

About thomasfarley01

Freelance writer specializing in outdoor subjects, particularly rocks, gems and minerals.
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