Advice offered from friends can be as toxic to that relation as money between friends.
ROUGH AND UNEDITED TRANSCRIPT
OK, let’s call this part two of people trying to help. Maybe a side issue, because I mentioned talk therapy and I didn’t see the connection to it with my event, which was paranormal E.S.P psychic thing out of the ether and the. Talk therapy? Well. Even if you’re in a talk circle with fellow nightmare sufferers. You’re talking about it, but I find it frustrating because there’s just no solution coming, it’s just a discussion. Talking has never made it go away.
What’s interesting on violent nightmares, and I haven’t researched this, but I bet it’s true for other people, is that the more you describe your nightmares. The more concrete they become and the more of them, you get more of them. This is extremely similar to what people talk about. Keeping a dream diary is that that’s very common for other things where advice is given to write down your dreams as soon as you wake up. And in fact, I’ve done that, you get better and better at remembering as much as you do this.
You can kind of wake yourself up almost automatically from a dream and then you start writing it down. So you’re getting better and better at remembering. Well, with violent nightmares. You as soon as you start describing them in detail, put them down on paper, especially start rehashing your brain, at least my keys in on that and starts producing more of them at night. This is similar to what most people have, relatable dreams where I had a dream just the other night related to fire.
Well, I had a fire engine pull up in front of my house looking for smoke in the area. And that night I had a nightmare about my house burning down. This is very similar to what most people have. They have a incident in the day and it comes back at them and at night. So you can understand where I’m coming from here and that. You describe some of these horrible, bloody, uh, torturous incidents and, uh, start.
Describing more and more of them, and you’re at least my brain kicks in on that, I think, and produces more of them the next night, the more concrete, the more real you make them, the more real they become. I really think the best thing is to immediately try to walk around. When I wake up from a violent nightmare is to walk around, just shake my head and try to forget it instantly. Just try to get distracted with something else that will keep me from remembering that incident that works.
And another thing that should work, but never has for me is commonly right down before you go to bed, a dream that you would like to have, a pleasant, wonderful dream that you would like to have and. I remember one psychologist I. Came in. I was supposed to do this and I showed her all of the dream stories that I wanted to happen and. She said up there you are. This writing is really quite good. I said, yeah, that’s what I do, I’m a writer.
Does it work now? I’ve never been unfaithful. Never been able to get a dream to. To happen that I wanted to happen, I and of course, this works for other people, it just it hasn’t worked for me. I lucid dreaming you’ll hear about where you can control things in your dream. I have been able to do that on rare occasion where you’re suddenly able to fly like a drone through a canyon and you can go up and you can go down and.
It’s really odd, but you’re controlling the dream, but it hasn’t happened enough, I haven’t been able to train myself to do it on demand and it has no relation to ending violent nightmares. Violent nightmares with me are essentially being frozen in a state of terror. And you’re not I’m not able to think my way out of the. It is just blindingly, overwhelmingly, bloody, you’re butchering going on and you are so frightened and so scared that I’m frequently sometimes I can recognize at the end of them I’m in a dream and wake myself up uncommon, but I can do it occasionally.
I can’t predict when I can, but usually I am so terrified, I am not thinking at all, I’m just being killed or I’m killing somebody else and it’s just so and again, everybody wants to help go, uh, friends with their, uh, helpful techniques. Uh, there unfortunately, they take it personally. When something doesn’t work again, you’re the person making it not work. You didn’t try it hard enough. Um, the psychiatrists and psychologists, though, they do accept they take it less personally when something doesn’t work, but they, too, are at a loss.
I had one psychiatrist, what was it, 2010? He looked over all the medications I had taken since nineteen eighty eight and said, well, you’re older so let’s start them all up. I know Freemont. I have a cat that doesn’t like me. Working on something too long. Very happy to. Have a companion through these long nights. OK, back to that psychiatrist he looks at. The new psychiatrist, 2010, he looks at the medicines I’ve taken over 20 years as you are now older, so maybe these drugs will now work on you now that you’re older.
So we started up the list again from scratch. With no results, we did find out in that period, though, Zyprexa was a real relief, if you’re having nightmares, it is definitely something you should try. It is going to change your thoughts. It’s going to change your personality. But the same thing with Prozac. But I would definitely try Zyprexa for a while to see if it helps. It certainly helped me for several years, actually.
And, um, and it was terribly expensive. Unfortunately, my dad helped me with the expense. Eventually we had to go to get to go to Canada to get it somewhat affordably. It was under patent at the time. It’s no longer so. So Zyprexa, if you can get it, I would definitely recommend it. And I really hope for you that it works it after a couple of years. It failed spectacularly. And. I elected to stop using it and get my old personality back, because it will change you.
It will change you. And an interesting question I had to the psychiatrist, especially Prozac. Prozac killed my creativity completely. It just completely froze my personality, my creative drive. You probably see how many posts I make sometimes in a day, how many projects I’m working on constantly. My brain’s going a million miles an hour usually, and that stops on a Prozac. But do you want to get better? And of course, with my nightmares, of course I do, I will take any drug at any time if I think I can get better and I have tried them all.
Demonstrated, I want to get better, but again. Medicines aren’t working, and that was why I went down to Tempe for this electroconvulsive therapy, because shock therapy, ECT is sort of the last resort, I, I don’t really know what to do now. I still have some of these violent nightmares, and it’s made me a lot angrier, a lot upset. I’m drinking a lot more now. I know it’s changed my personality in the way that medicines did.
It’s becoming very different and somewhat dark. I. I’m not coming up with many helpful suggestions for you, are am I? And again, this is all just after you describe this to people like this for a while, it’s just becomes a complaint fest. What is the point of complaining about something if there is no solution? Just shut up and get on with it, whatever you have, and try to take care of people that are that are worse off, like the cancer, the woman dying of cancer over there, um, I know there’s people up and down the street that have various medical afflictions and we all have our problems.
I, I think one reason I’m doing this and opening up about my mental health, saying that I don’t care anymore is maybe somebody out there on the Internet can relate. Maybe somebody will be helped with my suggestion of Zyprexa. I, I, I would not recommend electroconvulsive therapy at this point. And some of this is just talking it out for myself, trying to get a grasp and understanding and understanding of the situation. So I’m not describing my nightmares and having them continue because of that, but I’m trying to think out the problem.
And I am convinced that it’s just simply there is another universe right now at work in between our fingers. That was the most that’s the only benefit that came out of these nightmares, is that, uh, that other world does exist, whatever you want to call it, whatever you want to call it. And, uh, I got a look into that dark room that. The millions of other people who’ve had psychic experiences over the years, we all get a glimpse into this dark room.
We can’t see what’s in there, but there is something in there, some shape, there’s some movement, and we never get the big picture. And I. I’m now at rambling stage, so I’m going to cut it off for now. Thanks for listening if you do. And I really should get back to poetry, but. Tomorrow will be Gold Field Days, Gold Field, Nevada, and, uh, I’ve got a long drive to go to meet some people that do like me.
Thank you.
