After three decades I am getting closer to getting the treatment I have wanted all along: ECT or electro-convulsive therapy.

My psychiatrists in the past have been a conservative lot. Medicine and talk therapy were the only choices. ECT wasn’t indicated for my chronic nightmares and insomnia. But their choices haven’t worked and they are now admitting as much.

I am 63 and have no more time. Either I try this or I end my life. It may not work but I will then know what to do next.

The stay at home option is to kill myself somewhere in the desert.

But lately I am warming up to fleeing to Southeast Asia or India to spend the last of my time and money in a high end opium den for the round eye trade. A narcotic clip joint filled with beautiful women. Or women that look beautiful under opium.

Maybe all of life is an extended opium dream. Or nightmare.

Another month and my cataract surgery should be complete. And then I can go to Arizona to try ECT.

Three sessions a week for four weeks. That should be enough to tell since all medical appointments produce nightmares. WIll they taper off after a week or two or not?

I am renewing my passport just in case.

NB: This video demonstrates the process. It is not the facility I will be using.