Another Revising Example

Before:

In certain cases, an existing Texas child custody order may need to be modified by a court after custody has been initially determined. This means you can request a court to modify a custody order when a new and substantial change in family circumstances have occurred since the initial custody decision has been made.

If the change will considerably affect the best interests and welfare of your child, a court may find it necessary to modify a child custody order.

After:

A court may modify an existing Texas child custody order to reflect a new and substantial change in family circumstances since the initial custody decision was made. The court may modify the child custody order if the change considerably impacts the best interests and welfare of the child.

Comments:

I substantially rewrite openings and introductions. The reader must start the piece, otherwise, the rest of the piece means nothing.

I’m still not happy with how long the first sentence is. But how much more revising time should I put in? How much better will it get with that extra time?

The original writer faced the same decision when producing the post: how many more drafts can I do consistent with my deadline and the hours I am allowed to bill?

In deciding, concentrate on the opening.

Revising depth is often controlled by time and business reasons and not by artistic ones.


Follow me on Instagram: tgfarley

https://www.instagram.com/tgfarley/

About thomasfarley01

Freelance writer specializing in outdoor subjects, particularly rocks, gems and minerals.
This entry was posted in editing writing, non-fiction writing, revising writing, Thoughts on writing, Uncategorized, Writing tips and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s