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Revising Work From Overseas

In today’s interconnected world, editors may be asked to edit and revise the work of people for whom English is not their first language. While I am revising these writer’s efforts, I am humbled knowing I could never write in another language as well as these authors. It is my job, however, to make their writing sound like a native speaker.

Here are my revisions of some such work.

Before:

After you got into an accident, the responsible party’s insurance company will send you a series of documents to sign. One of the forms you will likely sign is a Medical Authorization Release. This permits the insurance provider to check your personal medical history to determine the value of your personal injury case. If you’re concerned about whether you should sign it or not, then make sure you understand what each paperwork is about before signing any of them. If you don’t know what they could mean for you, then you should consult with an attorney.

After:

The responsible party’s insurance company will send you a set of documents to sign after you have had an accident. One vital form stands out: a Medical Authorization Release. Signing this lets the insurance provider check your personal medical history to determine the value of your injury case. If you don’t understand how that release or any of their paperwork may impact your case, consult an attorney.

Before:

The Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Labor recently announced that they have decided to issue an additional 30,000 I-2C visas until September 30 this year. This means that foreign nationals who hope to work a seasonal job in the US may have a better chance of entering the country.

After:

The Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Labor will issue 30,000 additional I-2C visas until September 30th of this year. Foreign nationals who hope to work a seasonal job in the US may have a better chance of entering the country.

Before:

It’s not surprising to find out the multitude of nursing homes in Kentucky as subjects of complaints. According to the Department of Public Health, its Department’s 24-hours a day Nursing Home Hotline processes as many as 19,000 calls annually. Throughout the years, nursing homes have been linked to several issues such as neglect, abuse and all sorts of misconducts. For those with loved ones inside nursing home facilities, this is both alarming and necessary reasons to always be on the lookout. If you suspect that someone you love or know may be having a negative experience in a nursing home, here’s what you need to know.

After:

Kentucky nursing homes are frequent and continuing subjects of complaints. The State’s Department of Public Health runs a 24 hour-a-day Nursing Home Hotline. It gets nearly 19,000 calls each year. Over the years, nursing homes have been responsible for neglect, abuse, and all manner of misconduct. Anyone with a loved one inside a nursing home should be alarmed by these statistics. These numbers demand that friends and family must always look for warning signs. Here’s what to know if you suspect that someone you love or know may be getting poor or abusive treatment at a nursing home.

Before:

Ndot has taken a more significant step to keep Clark County roads safer by replacing 800 of the controversial guardrail X-Lite sections across the state. According to a statement from the state, it is taking a proactive step to address concerns about the guardrail’s parts not up to par with field performance expectations. The planned X-Lite product replacement will cost as much as $20 million although the federal highway regulations do not require it.

After:

Ndot has taken a significant step to keep Clark County roads safer by replacing certain parts on guardrails in Clark County and across the state. Numbering 804 in all, these so-called X-Lite sections have generated controversy in several states for possibly causing fatalities. According to a statement from the department, it is replacing these parts to address concerns about the guardrail’s components not meeting performance expectations. Ndot will spend as much as $20 million on replacing the X-Lite sections although federal highway regulations do not mandate that they do so.

Before:

The United States Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) said that motor vehicle crashes declined consistently throughout the years, although the same can’t be said for wrong-way driving incidents. Approximately 300 people die from wrong-way crashes every year. In Las Vegas alone, two accidents already occurred this year. One man died on Interstate 5 near Downtown Las Vegas last January, while another one did on Interstate 805 near Rocky Ridge last March.

After:

The United States Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reports that motor vehicle crashes have been on the decline for the last several years. That, unfortunately, cannot be said for wrong-way driving accidents. Approximately 300 people die from wrong-way crashes every year. In Las Vegas alone, two accidents have already occurred this year. One man died on Interstate 5 near downtown Las Vegas in January, while another man died on Interstate 805 near Rocky Ridge in March.

Before:

Companies must also get operating permits every six months in January and June. The permit will provide more details about the size of every fleet. Companies must even settle any related fees that will be imposed by the City Council. According to the mayor’s proposal, these include $150 per device and $235 per permit.

After:

Under the new regulations, companies must get operating permits every six months in January and June. To be approved, the permit application must provide information on the size of a companies’ fleet. Companies must also pay any fees imposed by the City Council. According to the mayor’s proposal, these charges include $150 for each device and $235 for the permit itself.

Before:

Highways and trucks always pose a risk to both drivers and passengers. Recently, two truck rollover accidents on the roads of Las Vegas highlighted that risk. The accidents killed two people and injured another one as a semi-trucked flipped over Sandy Valley, and another big rig crashed and overturned a few miles southwest of Spring Mountain State Park. Truck-related accidents are so common that they affect so many people. If you or your loved one has been involved in this type of accident, then it is best to call an attorney. The following sections will discuss more the dangers of trucks in Las Vegas and what you can do legally when you or someone you know is involved in one.

After:

Large commercial trucks on highways can pose great risks to drivers and passengers of ordinary vehicles. Recently, two truck rollover accidents on Las Vegas roads highlighted this danger. These accidents killed two people and injured another as a semi-truck flipped over in Sandy Valley, and another big rig overturned a few miles southwest of Spring Mountain State Park. Truck-related accidents are common and impact many people. If you or your loved one has been involved in this type of accident, call an attorney. The following sections detail the dangers trucks present in Las Vegas and what to do when you or someone you know is involved in a truck related accident.

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By thomasfarley01

Business writer and graphic arts gadfly.

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