It’s been three decades since my insomnia, bad dreams, and nightmares started. And my daytime anxiety years before that. Although I don’t long for death, I long for its peace. Unless I am cast into hell, my thoughts return to a stanza in Amazing Grace:
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
I’ve been very fortunate to have the life I enjoy. It would be more satisfying without my troubles, but everyone has their own private nightmares stalking them. In the end, I have my art and the means to conduct it. We’ve all made it this far. As the song reminds us:
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.